Down in the dumps

I really shouldn’t feel this way but I do. There could be many reasons for it: recent visit from Aunt Flo, having spent a lot of money on ‘extras’ the past month (not that any were unwarranted), school starting soon, etc….

So I’ve had way too many cheats lately and I’ve decided I just can’t cheat. I cannot allow myself to think I can because my body isn’t ready. A bite of cereal here, bacon there, some coffee…. then before you know it I feel bad, both physically and mentally. So I’m back to square one: no cheating. I’ve packed up the chips so they don’t temp my toddler (he usually pulls a bag when he goes into the pantry and then I’m obligated to finish it when he doesn’t). This way he won’t see them and I won’t, either!! Cereal is almost done and I’ve made the grain-free version from Sarah’s blog and G likes it fine. I’m going to enjoy the bacon this week and from then on I’m not going to eat it. If I happen to eat a bite or two on the weekend when my boys are enjoying it, I won’t lose any sleep over it but as a rule it’s out. I’ve been enjoying my small cup of diluted coffee every evening for the last 2-3 days but I’m down to the last bit tonight and after that it’s gone. I may have a small cup or so on the weekends only but it will be a treat. I have not gone out to eat in 3+ weeks and it’s been a blessing. No spending more money, not having to decide what I can have, not staring longingly at tortilla chips (my weakness). It makes me feel so much better to put things in perspective!!

G is doing great. I just can’t say enough. I notice when I give him plenty of fat for dinner he sleeps so much better! Yesterday I gave him a couple of bites of croissant (I bought them for DH and A when they get back from their trip this weekend and I was tempted) and he really didn’t care for it!! Amazing: over 2 weeks with no bread!! I bet DH will be surprised when he tries to give G a bite next time: he may turn Daddy down!! He was eating butter off a spoon last night and he loved sauteed peaches with ghee and a bit of cinnamon. Delicious!! He’s having fermented veggies twice a day and broth at least once a day. I’m hoping to increase broth intake for both of us once the weather gets cold. It’s supposed to be 99 by Wednesday!!!

I made my first 24 hour yogurt over the weekend. I used raw milk and Seven Stars Farm yogurt as starter (one of the best-tasting yogurt I’ve ever had). I guess I’m a bit disappointed. The yogurt turned out fine. It tastes pretty sour but pleasantly so. It’s definitely not as thick as I’d like. I’m going to try again with cream. I’ll strain this one to increase thickness and maybe add gelatin (I’ll have to buy some) to make it thicker. Right now I’m loving my kefir more!

Update 11:25am
I just had a thought. I realized I have not had a BM all weekend! I haven’t had the urge either, but this morning I thought I’d try and go. And I went! I wonder if this will improve my mood… I’m having some water kefir right now. I’m hungry and craving sweets… so not good…

Update 12:45pm
I feel better. It could be because my stomach is full! LOL The borscht is so delicious. I used Dr NCM’s recipe but added the beet greens as well. I’m going to a local market this Saturday (it’s local but does not carry much local produce; it does have grassfed beef, no nitrite deli meats, awesome selection of cheeses, tons of affordable organic produce, raw nuts, ghee, oils… tons of stuff!! and prices are way cheaper than anywhere else around here). They have low-temp pasteurized non-homogenized cream and I’m going to get a gallon!! Or two!!! I absolutely love kefired cream and I want to make yogurt using milk/cream combo.

Update 9:30pm
I’m beat. G didn’t sleep during the day today so he was out by 9. I cleaned up, prepped some stuff for lunch tomorrow and I’m off to read a few pages. I’m going to be in bed by 10 tonight. Yes !!! Night, night…

Food diaries
B: scrambled eggs with ghee, bacon (not GAPS legal)
L: borscht with meatballs and pate, 1/2 avocado with EVOO, kimchi, smoothie, water kefir, apple, cashew butter/butter
D: roasted chicken with fat, zucchini and squash in lard, faux-tatotes with lard/butter, water, diluted coffee with creamer and honey, macaroon, peach with ghee and cinnamon

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